Why will God not simply answer all of our questions?

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isiah 55:8-9

So let's talk about the tools of conversion, the quandaries and problems you will encounter when trying to convert the illogical atheist we discussed in July. There are several roadblocks you will come across, and I will try to help you overcome them, one post at a time over the next several months. Too many times, when talking to non believers, we use tactics and scriptures that move us, without considering what will move our counterpart. So let's take a more logical approach to this.

One of the many arguments I used as an atheist was a simple question. Why does God hide everything from us? Why will he not just tell me what his plan is and what he wants me to do? Why does God "work in mysterious ways"? If he loves me so much, why is he so secretive? 

The answer is simple. We are incapable of understanding what His plan is. We cannot fathom the plans He makes, we cannot understand His motives. Think of it this way. If you were sitting on your front porch, drinking a cup of tea you just brewed on the stove and an ant walked across the bench, would you try to explain something as simple as brewing tea to him? Of course not. He is simply incapable of understanding the subject at hand. For that matter, he is too simple to speak or understand your words. He cannot reason, he cannot grasp the concept. No matter how long he stopped in front of you and seemed to beg for that little piece of knowledge, you wouldn't bother explaining it. He would have to just accept the fact you knew what you were doing, and he was powerless to change it, or understand it.

We are the ant, and God is the tea sipping gentleman, sitting on the porch, watching us walk around, taking care of us, but not explaining the how's or why's.

Our Father is not like us. Yes, He made us in His image, that is true. But He did not make us like carbon copies of Him. We look like Him, and that is where most of the similarities end. He is being beyond measure. He is omnipotent, and omniscient. We are anything but those things. We cannot begin to imagine even the slightest fraction of what He is. We can only hope He explains bits and pieces of His plan to us.

This is what the atheist must understand. Their insistence upon knowing His plan is born of hubris. The ego of the atheist knows no bounds. The atheist does not understand why his Father won't simply explain all the answers he is seeking. Like a frustrated child, as literal as that description is, he stomps his feet and demands to know. God does not owe him an answer. He does not deem him worthy. All the atheist can do, is pray and commune with his Father, and when the time is right, all we be made known.

Conversion requires Vigilance.

"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." -1 Peter 5:8


When I was about 10 years old, my grandfather passed away. I never knew the exact turn of events, but that revealed a long simmering issue among family members of mine, and resulted in my exit from the church, at the behest of my Dad. I believe he was an atheist at the time, and had only allowed me to go to church with family members. When things got a bit crazy, it was no moral quandary to exclude me from attendance, as he did not attend either.

Because of this, I was left to form my own religious morals and beliefs, or lack thereof. I don't really remember having any atheistic thoughts, or any thoughts about religion period for a couple years. A friend of the family, who was about my age, exposed me a little bit to some witchcraft ritual, but it was nothing serious. It didn't cross my mind again until I was 18 or so. At that point, I was more of an anti-Christian, than I was an atheist.

When I say that, I don't mean I was a satan worshipper or anything nearly so dramatic. See, there are two kinds of atheists, the illogical atheist and the angry atheist. The illogical atheist is a non-believer who chooses not to believe because, in his mind, Christianity does not make sense. This kind of atheist typically champions science and reason and claims the narrative we espouse is illogical. Many times this type of atheist is condescending, and views religious minded folks as intellectually inferior, rubes, or some other form of simpleton.

The angry atheist is a non-believer who refuses to believe because he is mad at God. He or she is unhappy with some turn of events in their life, maybe the death of a loved one, maybe their job, their finances or they may be just unhappy at their life in general. because of this, they blame God. He is their villain. As Christians we constantly remind them that God loves them and only wants the best for them. If they are unhappy with their life, this causes a paradox, one they blame God for.

Well, I was an angry atheist early on. Eventually, I encountered many Christians who would debate my lack of faith with me. As an angry atheist I didn't spend much time considering theological concepts. I would only attack and insult them. That was my only weapon. When I discussed this topic with loving Christians who didn't recoil from my vitriol, I had to find some other way to counter their points. This is how I made the transition from angry atheist to illogical atheist.

In the end, the result is the same, I was a non-believer. I was a vile non-believer too. I had accepted Christ early on as a child. I had been baptized. I had chosen to turn my back on God. I had rebuked him, denied him. In this mindset, I could not be converted. It was not that I wouldn't be converted, I could not be. Why? Because I didn't want to be. Just like a drug addict or alcoholic. I would not change my mindset until I chose to. I would not convert until I wanted to.

Converting atheists take time, and patience. Atheists will not convert because you want them to. You have no control over whether or not an atheist converts. All you can do is plant the seeds, and wait for them to sprout. All you can do is love them, speak to them about God, answer their questions and wait patiently. When their time has come, when they are ready to convert, they will. If that is God's Will. I did not convert until life got too tough to handle and I realized that I could not force my way through anymore. I could not bend the world to my will. But God can bend the world to His Will, and he did. Until I realized I couldn't do it on my own, and I needed help, nothing changed. Once I decided to trust, release control and let God take the reins again everything changed.

This will hold true for those you try to convert. Until they decide to let go and let God take over, nothing will change. Be vigilant, and do not recoil from their anger or their condescension. Remember to put on the whole armor of God, and speak to them. If you are patient, and it is God's Will, they will convert.

God's Plan invalidates our feelings of regret.

"I am guilty. Ashamed of what I've done, what I've become. These hands are dirty. I dare not lift them up to the Holy one.." -Lauren Daigle


   Regret is only natural. One of the lessons we are taught early on in Christianity, no matter the denomination, is the fallibility of our actions, and the fact that not a single person, save God is perfect. No matter ho hard we strive, no matter how devout we try to be, we are always imperfect sinners. This is the whole concept behind John 3:16 and our Father's sacrifice of his only son.

   We are taught that no matter the sin, as long as we believe in Christ, and request his forgiveness, He will provide it. All of our imperfections can be washed away, with only our heartfelt repentance. It is one of the most potent gifts the Father provides us, and it is our birthright.

   No matter the veracity of this concept, we still regret our actions, and our past mistakes. We have regret. Sometimes it is an overpowering feeling. We regret decisions we have made, we regret wrongdoings and the ire we have earned from other individuals. We lament the actions we have taken, either because they were vile, wrong, disgusting, selfish or any other one of a myriad of uncomfortable descriptors. This is not an easy emotional battle to fight. This is a battle which can haunt us for years, even lifetimes. I know that I personally reflect on actions I took more than 20 years old, before I was even a teenager, and I feel terrible about what happened.

   For years, I struggled, even before I converted to Christ. Once I began to change as a person, matured, and started living for others, instead of taking actions for completely selfish reasons, I really began to regret things I had done. I had alienated people, pushed my family away time and again. I had destroyed my relationship with my mother, and I had done the same to my Dad, who passed away before I was ever able to make amends.

   When I found out that my Dad had passed, knowing how I left our relationship hanging, regret hit me like a hammer. I was devastated. I was devastated from the loss, and from not being able to say my farewell, but I was more devastated that it had chosen, through avoiding him, to end our relationship on a sour note. Now, I was unable to rectify that. I could not un-ring that bell. I was torn for years with regret. Until my daughter was born.

   When we regret something, that means we wish we had taken different actions and made different decisions, given a second chance. If we were able to rewind time, we would have chosen to do things differently. For me, that is the definition of regret.

   So I had to go back and rethink my past when my daughter was born. If I continued to regret things I had done, that means I wanted events to happen in a different manner. If I wanted to take back my past, then I would have to accept a different present than I have now.

   I would have to accept I would not have my daughter.

   Was I willing to trade my daughter for a second shot at life? Was I willing to change my mistakes, take back my harsh words, take back my wrongs, take back my alienation and failed relationships? Absolutely not.

   If I wasn't willing to take back my past, then the only logical step was to accept my past. The only logical step, was to accept the loss of my Dad on the terms I lost him. I was to accept the alienation of my Mother (who I have since reconnected with, and repaired our relationship...imagine that). I was to accept the things I did not do that I wish I would have, like college, like enlisting after 9/11, like starting businesses I wish I would have started etc. The list goes on and on.

   I realized, to have what I have now, my Wife, my Daughter, my three Sons, my faith in God...to have all that, those mistakes had to be made. All my regrets we part of His Plan. All my mistakes were God's Will, I just didn't know it at the time. All my losses and wrong doings were steps in the right direction. Had I not made those mistakes, I would not have met my Wife, had my Daughter, nor converted and chosen to live for God. All my regrets were irrelevant, and frankly, my regrets were foolish.

   Now, that is not to say that I should feel free to live outside of God, and justify it by claiming it was God's Will. I still have a moral debt to pay. I still committed wrongs, and lived in sin in a manner which did not change God's Plan. Those actions I must be accountable for. God has forgiven me for what I have done, but he promises me no salvation from the judgement of Man. Only from sin.

Sometimes we know too much.

"What are the Laws of Nature, but the mathematical thoughts of God." -Euclid

 

 

 

 

   One of the biggest lessons I learned during my conversion from agnosticism to Christianity, is that it is possible for us to know too much. We, as non believers, can strive so hard to absorb all reason, understanding, empirical and theoretical knowledge, that we can educate ourselves into a perpetual state of hubris.



   I spent many years reading and trying to understand many different subjects, to gain the answers to questions that were answered when I stopped denying God. I asked the biggest questions: Where did we come from? Where did the Universe come from? Why am I here? What happens when I die? Can I live forever?

   Of course, education did nothing to answer these questions for me. At best, they led to some understanding, but created more questions. At worst, my "answers" led to false understanding which was exposed when I furthered my research at a later time. I began to delve into such subjects as The Big Bang Theory, the search for extraterrestrial life, astrophysics, biology, some philosophy and other related subjects. As soon as I thought I had a subject well within my mental grasp, I would begin to question what I knew. Much like a philosophy major, I thought I understood the world, until I read the next set of authors who taught me that my previous understanding was incorrect, and my new understanding was now correct. Until I read another book...and another etc. etc.

   All I truly figured out, was I had a grand set of theories within my head that was based on the writings and research of other individuals. None of my personal theories and world views were all encompassing in their definitions of the universe and the questions I was seeking answers to.

   I was so confident in my "understanding" of the ways of the world, that I did not want to hear what God was speaking to me. I did not want to see the signs He was trying to display for me. I would flit in and out of religion. Life would get rough. As the old saying goes "There are no Atheists in foxholes", so when life's problems became bigger than myself, I would try God again. I would beg for his Hand of Mercy without knowing what I was asking for. I would try barter with God. I would promise all manner of service, all manner of sacrifice if He would only help me out of this massive problem that I had at that time, whatever it may be. In the end, I never followed through on my promises. I explained away His Mercy and His Grace as luck or coincidence. I never acknowledged what it was that He did for me. I denied him, even after He had once again, forgiven me for rebuking Him, forgiven me for turning my back on Him.

   In all reality, I knew so much, that my knowledge and research had prevented me from faith. It had prevented me from believing. It had prevented me from everything that I sought in God. I was dying for answers, but I wanted answers on my terms. I did not want answers that God gave me. Why? Because I would have to acknowledge I was not in control. I would have to acknowledge that I was not master of the universe, He was, and that conflicted with my self imposed hubris.

 

   I wanted to be able to explain everything, even though my thirst for knowledge was self evident of my lack of an explanation, I still denied that God was the answer. Oh how wrong I was.